As a mom you are probably trying to juggle many different tasks in the morning. Getting you ready for work or just for the day, getting your kids ready for daycare or school and probably even helping hubby find his car keys or wallet. Morning time can become really hectic and sometimes feel like complete chaos.
What I have learned after many, many mornings where I have felt like a complete monster is to really pick my battles. Sure, I could choose to freak out and tell my daughter to get dressed and brush her teeth otherwise no TV later that day. But, acting that way would only make my daughter and myself feel terrible and potentially created feelings of insecurity. Instead, I came up with an idea of creating the “get ready challenge”. The challenge consists of whoever gets ready first (between me and my daughter) gets a prize. For you new moms who are dealing with a baby or a toddler who cannot get ready by themselves, another trick I have learned is to get up 30 – 40 minutes early to get yourself ready so that when your child wakes you can focus your energy on getting them ready. As for your hubby finding his wallet….he’s on his own :-) .
The moral of the story is that as a parent it’s so easy to nag, nag, and nag at our children. In fact it could be never ending if we let it “clean up your room”, “brush your teeth”, “turn off the TV”, etc. Therefore, as a parent we battle the dilemma “where do we draw the line in the sand” and “what battles do we fight for”? I read a great article in a recent Parenting publication that talked about which battles to fight and which ones to leave.
Children need to be taught boundaries and need direction….that’s how they learn. So, the rule of thumb for fighting battles is this:
– If your child is in danger (i.e. running out onto the road) then you should fight that battle.
– If your child is talking back or being disrespectful then you fight the battle.
– If your child is demanding unreasonable or expensive items then you fight that battle. Children need to understand the value of money.
– If your child refuses to clean up a very dirty mess then you fight that battle. It’s important for children to learn how to clean up after themselves.
On the other hand, children also need autonomy to learn on their own and gain confidence in their decisions. So, the rule of thumb for NOT fighting battles is this:
– Your child starts a food fight with their siblings….or even you – not worth the battle. Children learn through food and sometimes having a good old fashioned food fight is ok.
– If your child has an untidy room – not worth the battle . It could be an everyday, all day battle. In this case teach your child that as long as they don’t have a “dirty” room, a little mess is ok.
– Crazy clothes clash – not worth the battle. They learn creativity and self esteem this way. Your child may look a little odd, but it won’t happen every day.
– Bedtime Battles – not worth the battle. Chances are your child simply isn’t tired. Have them read quietly in their room instead of watching TV and chances are they will eventually fall asleep :-)
Tagged: Helicopter Parenting, Parenting, parenting advice, parenting decisions
